Sex

The MysteryVibe vibrator now buzzes Christmas songs

By Kitty Knowles 15 December 2017
Summary

Have a not so silent night?

It can be hard to get out of bed in the cold winter months.

For MysteryVibe owners, that task might now be even more of a challenge.

We told you about the brand’s high-tech Crescendo vibrator before – its unique sell is that it can literally bend to please you.

Now the company is showing off its smart programmable ‘vibes’ library in a rather festive way.

It’s launched the world’s first Christmas carol vibrator patterns.

Christmas is coming

To mark the season MysteryVibe’s ‘pleasuretech’ pioneers have programmed their £139 vibrator to reverberate to the tune of popular holiday carols.

Those who already own a Crescendo vibrator can see the Christmas themes in the MysteryVibe app – and have been encouraged to share their experiences using the hashtag #ChristmasIsComing.

The Memo did some (very unsexy and very PG) testing of the Crescendo at the office – and it was pretty incredible.

Not only does the Crescendo move deftly between deep powerful tremors to rapid light quivers, but its six different motors can deliver these independently or at once.  

And yes, it is surreal watching a vibrator buzz away to Jingle Bells, Silent Night and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.

Beyond the gimmick

The Christmas vibes for most, of course, will be a novelty. But they do help to show just how incredibly personalisable the Crescendo is.

There are now 48 pre-set vibration patterns in the vibrator’s companion app. And the team’s new festive jingles demonstrate the limitless possibilities in the app’s ‘create’ function, where owners can build their own custom vibrations.

A full 12 patterns can be stored on the Crescendo itself, and can be easily moved between.

“We all experience pleasure in different ways, and no two bodies are the same,” MysteryVibe co-founder Stephanie Alyss tells The Memo.

“Personalisation is a huge market in every other industry – so why not sextech.”

Personalised sex sells

It’s this personalised pleasure that’s seen tens of thousands of Crescendos sold, 30,000 MysteryVibe app downloads worldwide, and helped the company raise $3.5m (£2.6m) of funding to date.

“In my mind, I see advances in broader technology meaning that our bedrooms will be a haven of personalised pleasures,” says Alyss.

“Sounds, visuals, lights and aromas will all work together to stimulate our brain and help us connect better with our own sexuality and with partners.”

What’s more, our changing attitudes and willingness to embrace sexual pleasure continues to boost the $30bn a year ‘sextech’ industry (which is projected to be worth over $50bn by 2020).

“Sextech founders are addressing basic humans needs; pleasure and intimacy, relationships… and using tech to empower us and our relationships,” says Alyss.  

“The future of sextech is very bright.”

Forget ‘Ho. Ho. Ho.’ This Christmas it’s all about ‘Ho. Oh. Oh. Oh!’

Watch what happened when Stephanie Alyss hit the streets with her Christmassy ‘vibes’…