sex

3nder: Not just for threesomes, but for every modern lover

By Kitty Knowles 10 February 2016
3ndr founder Dimo Trifonov on his hookup app for modern lovers. Pic: 3nder.
Summary

3nder founder Dimo Trifinov tells us why progressive, open-minded people should give "the only humanist hookup app" a go.

Founded back in 2014, 3ndr was quickly dubbed the ‘Tinder for threesomes’. But the app isn’t just for people looking for a third party in the bedroom, it’s for everyone looking for everything. 

The company website even includes this handy Beginner’s Guide to 3nder Terminolgy, explaining words like Androsexual, Pansexual, and Polysexual, so that new users can identify with (and find matches in) the app’s inclusive userbase.

Whether your into a niche, like group BDSM, or just fancy a quick one-to-one fling, 3ndr is built on the foundations of equality, openness and respect, says founder Dimo Trifinov.

A modern app for modern lovers

Trifinov created 3ndr after he and his girlfriend decided to explore their relationship by seeking a third for a threesome.

“We don’t drink, we don’t do drugs, we barely have the usual night lifestyle, or as many options for meeting people,” Trifinov told The Memo. “But when I went online, I found only super outdated websites, and most of them were scam websites and fetish businesses.”

“I felt I had to design something that resonated with us: I know we are not the only humans on this planet that want to do these things,” he said.

“We think sex is something beautiful and that it should shown in this way. It shouldn’t be a taboo, something you are ashamed of. It is funny that we live in the 21 century and we manage to make sex so separate from ourselves.”

Read more: The dark side of online dating: Half of us are lying

The only humanist hookup app

“The threesome-side is just marketing,” explained Trifinov. “We’re for anyone who is looking for non -judgemental people.”

“When you start seeing normal people, actual people with their everyday photos, and you see that they like role play or BDSM, you don’t think you are weird any more. You see that lots of people are also interested in these kinky things too.”

“3nder is the only company that has this humanist approach to sex. It is not taking advantage of people’s sexuality, it’s not abusing anybody by generating fake users, or trying to acquire as many women as possible. The core mission of the company is to have equality.”

Honest about sex

With this ethos, the company is keen to remain upfront about the service it provides.

“We are the only dating app that is not trying to hide what we do,” says Trifinov. “90% of people go to dates sites to have sex. We are the only dating app that is straightforward.”

“You don’t have to go through the questions of ‘How are you? How are you doing?’ People know what other people are looking for: it’s often ‘Do you want to have sex?’”

That’s not to say people just have sex on 3nder.

“A couple of people wrote to me to say that they got engaged after finding each other through 3nder,” adds Trifinov. “We have done some magic.”

Read more: This mouldable vibrator literally bends to please you

David Cameron has made damming statements on porn, however it appears his government is accessing it at work frequently
David Cameron is a symbol of prudish Britain, says Trifinov.

Are Brits prudes?

Currently 3nder has half a million users across the world, but only around 60,000 UK users. Some countries are just “more open to experiences”, Trifinov suggests of the not-quite-booming British adoption rate.

Indeed, Trifinov thinks that Brits are among the most conservative-minded when it comes to sex.

“I think it’s cultural,” he explained, “you pick a Conservative leader, and when I go out at six, when everybody finishes work, I just see empty people walking around.”

“There are so many amazing things happening in this city, but many people are just kind of stuck in their bubbles.”

There is hope for younger generations to be sexually liberated though, says Trifinov. “New generations are more open,” he says.

“They are growing up on the internet, they don’t grow up with religious beliefs, their parents are not their role models. New generations select their own sources of information and who they want to be; my cousin is constantly on Instagram, and she’s modelling her own view of life through that.”

Read more: Blaming dating apps for soaring STIs is a luddite view

3nder app. Pic: 3nder.
3nder app. Pic: 3nder.

The business of love

Entering the dating pool hasn’t been easy though, says Trifinov. “Our first version was horrible, so we spent almost a year rebuilding it,” he confesses.

“Our app crashed when I went to the investors.”

But the company still caught the eye of new backers, and raised £300,000 in 2015. This allowed 3nder to launch a smart new version of its app in September 2015, and the company is now generating £60,000 a month.

3nder makes money through a premium model, Trivanof says: “Nobody pays if they don’t want to pay.”

“Tinder has paywall, but we decided that instead of limiting people we are going to offer more: you have unlimited matches.”

“We also have Majestic Membership which allows you features like incognito to hide you from you Facebook friends and can show all the people who liked you, even if you accidentally dislike someone.”

Read more: Tinder in 2016: Love ‘surge’ alerts & men who use feminism to get laid

Personal discoveries & planning for parents

The 3nder platform is also currently being developed to help users hookup even more easily, says Trifinov. “We want to build something that goes beyond the Tinder’s match swapping, that lets people discover each other through mutual matches in the app,” he explains.

A new scheduling function will also be introduced in the coming weeks.

“One of the main problems with these apps is that people have busy schedules, people in the city, or parents,” say Trifinov.

“We want to help you whether you want to meet someone in 2 hours or in two weeks.”

Pure is the Uber for hookups. Pic: Uber.
Pure is the Uber for hookups. Pic: Uber.

Uber for sex & artificial intelligence

As far as Trifinov’s concerned, the market for modern hookup and dating apps is wide-open for revolution.

“There is only one other app on a similar mission,” he says. “It’s called Pure and its helps people to have sex on demand, kind of like Uber.

“You say I am available now and you start dating who is available.”

Further ahead, artificial intelligence will take a front seat, he adds. “In the same way you ask Siri about things, you’ll be able to ask for a date for the night.”

“Artificial Intelligences will know us better than we ourselves – what music you like, your plans and schedules – and it will be able to find the ultimate partner, whoever are you looking for.”

Find out more over on the 3nder wesbite.

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