Hushme: The gadget to silence those gasbag gossips.
Hate your work buddies? Not to worry.
You never have to hear their irritating whines again.
Simply muzzle their big mouths with a Hushme device, unveiled at CES in Las Vegas.
No, the strap-on mouthpiece isn’t a prop for your next bondage sesh (although who’s really going to stop you).
It’s actually been designed to protect your privacy if you don’t want people to hear you when you’re discussing sensitive matters on the phone. (Of course you’re not chatting to your significant other – you’re clearly deep in very serious negotiations).
The padded mouthpiece simply connects to your phone via Bluetooth, and comes with its own microphones and separate earbuds.
If you’re worried nosey folk might still be able to eavesdrop on private chit-chat through your mask, you can even play cloaking sounds from its outward-facing speakers.
Nothing says subtlety like blaring drum ‘n’ bass in the middle of the office.
A happy side-effect of being muzzled is that your colleagues won’t have to put up with the irritating tone of your voice any longer.
You’ll soon learn how irksome you are when it comes to your birthday, as the rise of the Hushme will surely see the most passive-aggressive whip-rounds of 2017.
However, you’ll have to wait to see if the company’s crowdfunding campaign is a success, and the mask will set you back up to £165.
Perhaps it would be better to just change desks.
Watch the Hushme promo video below…
Kitty Knowles is a Senior Features Writer at The Memo. Kitty previously worked as an online journalist for GQ. She can be found tweeting @KittyGKnowles.