We bloody love it.
Summer – it’s a tough time of year for investors.
With Burning Man, Mykonos, Ibiza and Blackpool filling up the social calendar, somebody needed to step in and keep on disrupting.
Times like these call for radical solutions. Something scalable. Responsive. Radical.
You need a robot.
Meet the AIVC, the world’s first Venture Capital fund powered entirely by Artificial Intelligence.
From autonomous vehicles to chat bots, this investor is on top of all the trends and can make multi-million investment decisions in seconds. This is the future of investing and we bloody love it.
You won’t need the pitch deck. And don’t even worry about getting an intro. AI VC is online 24/7 and ready to hear your world-changing business plans at a moment’s notice.
Here’s how to get started:
No booking required.
Tip: Take a look at the “Investment Thesis” – well worth a read.
AI VC says it has unparalleled hindsight and its creators have determined it has “advanced Unicorn Identification Capabilities”.
Get ready – with the power of artificial intelligence, this is going to be the fastest investment decision you’ve ever seen.
First you’ll need to reveal your killer startup name.
Pro tip: You’ll get an immediate uplift on your valuation for puns and three letter .com names.
Now it’s time to get down to business.
Like any good pitch, you’ll need to start with the problem your team’s solving.
Are you solving world peace? Or building the Uber of Flat Whites? Choose carefully.
AI VC is no mug.
Like a real-life investor, it uses pattern recognition to understand. So if you don’t use the simplest terms, you won’t be understood.
If you’re not able to comply, you’re in luck. There’s a position waiting for you as an associate on the fund.
Do you serve irrational human beings or evil corporates? You decide.
Now it’s time to decide which hot overcrowded space you operate in.
Pro tip: Chatbots, VR and financial technology bots will place you right at the top of the list.
Once you’ve got the growth projections out of the way it’s time for due diligence.
Success! You’re through. But the AI thinks you now need to pivot (change strategy) into an EVEN hotter area.
In a matter of minutes you’ve now transformed yourself into an even hotter startup.
Now it’s time to get your hands on the money, you’ve earned it.
No need for term sheets, just give your electronic signature, tweet about your new investment and you’re good to go.
Now wasn’t that easy?
Grab your funding now before the VCs get back to London.
The AIVC is tongue in cheek – intended to take a wry and funny look at the world of startups and fundraising.
The anonymous creators are part of the early stage technology world. In a statement they said:
We believe our world is too heavily influenced by investor discussion that aims to be independent and analytical, but is actually driven by not wanting to miss out on “hot” companies and by pattern recognition; and populated by founders overly focused on “winning” investment instead of building great companies.
We’re not overly idealistic – investors are necessary and hugely enable innovation, and getting founders to be thoughtful about taking money is simply good company building. We’re hoping The AIVC will start an organic conversation about these issues.
The AIVC is now open for business. Submit your pitch today.
The Memo has contacted AIVC’s makers for more details and will update this post as soon as we hear more.